Through the Yogic Lens - A Cadaver Dissection

I spent last week at the Institute for Anatomical Research where I was able to participate in a hands-on human dissection lab. The opportunity came about per My Vinyasa Practice. I had heard about the experience last year and was intrigued by the stories I heard. So when MVP announced they were going back, I decided to participate this year. This was a five day lab that was hosted by KNMLabs - Leslie Kaminoff, Lauri Nemetz, and Lydia Mann.

I had no expectations going into this lab. I had a few wish list items but I wasn't holding onto anything definite. Leading up to this, I had been viewing embalmed cadaver videos to get a better understanding of what I'd be seeing. I knew our dissections would be on pre-embalmed cadavers but I wasn't quite clear on what that meant. No video or anatomy book could have prepared me for what I experienced.

Monday was our first day on site. We started the morning with a group circle to discuss what was to be expected and to compile a wish list. Leslie was speaking when out of the corner of my eye, Jim was starting to roll the donors out of the "teachers lounge". Lydia noticed my focus had shifted from Leslie to the bodies. She asked if I was okay. I nodded. The donors were covered in plastic but my mind was rattling off ideas of what was underneath.

As we stood in the lab, surrounding the donors the mood shifted. The bodies were still covered but there was a felt sense of excitement and nervousness in the room. As the donors were revealed I took a deep breath in. I was surprised. Our donors looked nothing like the embalmed cadaver videos I had been watching nor like bodies at open casket funerals. I observed how my mind kept trying to compare to something I had seen. Our donors were once beings that had prana, lives, stories attached to them. But now, they had reached their zenith and dropped their bodies.They would be our teachers for the week. 

It took me awhile to interact with the bodies. The majority of others were up close examining and moving body parts. I had thoughts of people in my family, recent beings that had deceased. I was experiencing fear of my own mortality (abhinivesa). I walked around, observing others and thinking about death. Finally after an hour, I picked up a scalpel and began removing adipose tissue. I don't recall where I started but I kept saying sorry anytime I did a thing to a body part. I had to keep reminding myself that their bodies were just empty shells for us to explore. They weren't experiencing any pain. Their atman (soul) soul, was long gone. At one point, I had the idea that they were hovering over their bodies to see how they looked in that particular form. But who can say for sure.

By the end of the week I was tired emotionally and physically. I had dreams all week of dissecting tissue and facia sheaths. I tried my hardest NOT to compare what we saw to food because most of what I saw could be compared to things we eat. There were days when I'd come home and smell adipose in my nostrils and clothes. It got so bad to the point where I had to throw out all my essential oils because the scents kept reminding me of the lab. My mind kept linking the lemon, eucalyptus and tea tree to the smells in the lab. Thank goodness Vicks was able to ease a bit of my suffering.

On the final day, after all the dissection and evisceration, it was time to say our final goodbyes. I got emotional. I was in the corner of the room in tears when "OM" was recited. It was in those moments where I was able to realize the supreme goal had been reached. Our donors had reached their final destination - Divinity (Brahman). I wasn't mourning their passing of the body, I was celebrating their transformation. This experience wasn't just about me learning about anatomy or learning from a runners perspective. This was a lesson in Self-Realization. 

"The point is not to hope for a good birth but aim for a good death." - Bhagavad Gita